So for my 50^th birthday, we went to Secrets* in Puerto Vallarta with around 12 friends and family.  It was a proverbial blast.  All inclusive.  All you can drink.  And we went for me and my brother’s birthday as well.  It was debauchery.  Dancing, drinking, eating, and then more dancing, drinking, and eating.  But there was also sex.   Good and fun sex with Danielle.   Mexico transformed to Sexico.  Danielle was also romantic as well.  Very romantic.  I could feel the love from her and it was so fantastic.  I had hope again.  Maybe she turned a corner.  Maybe she’s figuring out things and we’re going to be okay.  That hope was there because for this time in Sexico, the woman who I married was back and I was so happy.  I didn’t know that this would be the last time that we’d be intimate.  I wish I did.  I would have been less drunk, less full, and less tired from dancing if I knew.  I would have been in the moment, trying to absorb her.  Feel her soft skin.  Caress the parts of her body that I love.  Look in her eyes more.  Feel more of our bodies when they merge as one.  But, that didn’t happen.  Closure sex never happened, but rarely does anyone know that this is the last time that you’re going to be intimate.  Especially, when you’ve been with someone for the past 23 years.  The end came before I expected and now the memory of making love with Danielle is

GONE.