So, I hate the peanut gallery.  The problem is that the peanut gallery consists in this case of primarily my friends and family.  They say things like;

“you’ll find someone else.  Look at Jason* (or insert any name here), he’s so happy now after he got remarried”

“this is a journey”

“you’re a great guy and your person is out there”

“Two steps forward and one step back”

“it’s a process”

“blah blah blah blah blah blah bibbidy blah”

I know that the peanut gallery mean well and loves me and are just saying all of this to try to make me feel better, and it works at times.  But the one that bothers me most is…

“you’ll still be an amazing family”

Bullshit.  Not the same family.  We’ll still have Emily but I won’t have Danielle.  A family stays together because of obligation and without Emily, Danielle no longer has any obligation to me.  We’ll be this phucking pseudo phamily where we go to the holidays together and maybe Danielle has lost weight or gotten a new haircut or gotten a girlfriend and her real family says;

“you look great”

“have you lost weight?”

“You be you”

“I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time”

“You go girl”

“I’m just glad you’re happy”

“fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckidy fuck” (this wasn’t her friends.  This was me)

Our real family is done.  It’s gone. I’m not blaming Danielle because she has to do what she has to do to be happy because the only worse thing than this, is if she stays with me and isn’t happy and stays with me because she feels obligated.  I would fucking hate that so bad, but this is the second worst.  It sucks.  Two steps forward and one step back every day and this is a big step back as I write this with sadness and anger and a longing for what we had even 6 months ago, but now it’s gone and so is the family.  Bye bye Bram family.  Hello Danielle/Eric farewell tour.