When Danielle tells me that we have to go to her mom’s house, I feel like I don’t often want to go because most of it is her mom fawning over our daughter and Danielle and I am just the throw in.  So I don’t want to go, but I do feel an obligation to see my mother in law and it makes Danielle happy so in turn, it makes me happy.  There’s an obligation to go to your Mother in Law’s and with that, there’s an obligation to pleasure your partner occasionally.   Even though I may dread going a bit, I find some good in it.  Maybe we have a good meal or I have a drink when I’m there or I watch a baseball game or something.  So there is some good to be found even if I’d rather be doing something else.  This is how I saw sex with Danielle and I.  She wanted sex way less than I did and I never forced her to have sex because that would be rape and that’s not what I wanted.  But I did want some kind of physical satisfaction more than once a month, be it hand, mouth, or the Holy Place and like going to the Mother in Law’s I felt it was kind of the same kind of obligation.  So once a month, I start initiating with Danielle and even though she doesn’t want to have get physical, maybe she’ll do it to make me happy be it hand, mouth, or the holy place, and in turn be happy herself and maybe even find a part of the sex that she liked.   She may not want sex and I may not want to go to my Mother in Law’s house, but people don’t always get to do or not do what they want and they make the best of it because they want to keep the peace and keep the Mother in Law and the Holy Place happy.  For me, sex and intimacy is important because it enhances the relationship.   

NOTE TO DANIELLE:

My Darling Danielle,

I love you.  I want to have sexual relations with you.  Now, I realize that your libido has changed and you may not be nearly as horny as I am.  I know that you need to be in the mood for these things, but maybe you have to work into the mood rather than expect it to just be there.  If you let me go down on you or start giving you a massage, or initiate some kind of intimate activity, you may start to get into the mood.  You’re not going to magically start wanting sex, but maybe you need a little push.  Or a little Bocky*.

Love,

Me   

*The name of my penis