Two days after Danielle told me that she was 1) gay and 2) wanting to separate, we had Charlotte’s Bat-Mitzvah to go to.  Charlotte is one of Emily’s good friends and her parents (Todd & Liora) are good friends of ours so we had to go.  It’s hard having a secret like that to keep, but life keeps moving.  During the service, I was miserable looking at each of the families looking so happy and well… family like.  I tuned out most of the service and tried to keep a brave face, meanwhile being annoyed by all of it.  God will watch over us.  God will take care of us.  God Shmod, I’m losing the love of my life so thanks for that, God.    

After the service we went to our tables and everyone else was bringing up small talk and such.  One guy told me he had to take a lactaid tablet before eating.  Another woman told us how she knew Todd & Liora.  Small talk.  Shit talk.  All I was feeling was humiliation, sadness, anger all wrapped in one extremely large Jewish bow.  Our marriage was ending and all these people wanted to do is tell me was about their Lactaid pills and how they know Todd and Liora.   And then of course after they told us about their small talk, they would small question us.

“How long have you two been married?”

I wanted to tell the truth and say, well technically we are married but this one over here now likes to go for the rug now if you get my drift and our 20 year marriage is ending because of that.  Shana Tova!    I wanted to tell the truth so badly, to say I’m angry, I’m upset, I’m disappointed, it’s not fair, but what’s the point?  The night is about Charlotte and not about a balding Jew and his gay half-Jew wife.