When I am able to sleep, it is awesome.  Sleep takes me away from reality and I can just forget all my pain and sorrow, even if it’s just for a night.  The reality is that you want to wake up from sleep.  Dying in your sleep is very bad.  Waking up from sleep is a good thing.  But when I wake from sleep, initially all that pain and sorrow I mentioned is not there.  But then a second later, it all crashes back and I realized the nightmare I am having starts when I wake up.  On top of that, if I wake up during the night, thoughts hit me.  And they overwhelm me so much that my tiredness plays little factor.  I lie in bed, contemplating life and my former marriage.  Wondering how something so good could turn so wrong. 

Facebook reminded me what I was doing a year ago.  I took a weekend away with Danielle to Arcata and we had an amazing time.  How could one small year cause life to change so much?  Danielle was so warm and loving, now she’s cold, unfeeling, and distant.   I was secure financially, emotionally, and in love.  Now all three of these are gone.  Actually, they remain.  But only on Facebook, as a memory, one year ago today.