I would contemplate and strategize things that I could do better in order to try to save our marriage told to me by Dr. Dick.

1. Don’t initiate
2. Be more romantic
3. Try new things sexually
4. Have an open relationship to enable for Danielle to explore
5. Do little things like hug Danielle from behind while she does dishes
6. Let Danielle see other women because that will make her feel more desire for you*
7. Be less social aka Danielle’s an introvert and you’re an extrovert
8. Accept the constant judgement from you and Dr. Dick.  It’s tiring.

I followed all the recommendations (even though some of them seem to contradict each other) and yet, in the end it was all just a big waste of information because none of this worked.  It’s like trying to lose weight by not eating and then getting back on the scale and gaining fifty pounds.  I don’t consider it a complete waste of time because we were able to have four more great years of memories and have a complete family for four years being relatively happy.  But I do feel like it’s been a waste of time in the aspect that I want to feel valued and during long portions of our therapy, I didn’t feel valued.  Why?  Well, this therapy was primarily about you because I knew that I wanted to stay in the marriage.  There was no therapy that I needed for couples therapy.  Individual therapy?  Hell yeah I needed individual therapy, but couples therapy not so much because you were the focus.  You were figuring out what you needed in your life and you didn’t know and it turns out you still don’t.  On the plus side of all this, yes, you loved me.  And you tried.  You tried very hard and I’m grateful for that.  But this entire therapy cycle was how to help you and I just felt like a pinball going from one thing to another to try to help you through all this.  So I’m making all of these compromises and changes and I ask, what changes and compromises are you making to help the marriage?   

*This seems like total bullshit.  If you start dating women, you’re going to start being attracted to me again???  Seriously Dr. Dick?