Danielle wanted couple therapy initially because she wanted me to work on anger issues.  But let’s delve into where these anger issues were stemming from, shall we… 

1. When you have a certain sex life.  Let’s say once a week.  When your partner changes it to once every two weeks or then once a month or then once every two months, and then this pattern continues for a year.  What is going to happen to you.  You’re going to obviously be agitated.  Now, you don’t want to force sex to happen, so you stay quiet, strategize and think about ways to make this better.  You’re more romantic.  You do more chores.  You may ask what’s going on and they say something like, “I’m just stressed right now”.  So what is your alternative?  You sometimes break.  You sometimes get angry.  You sometimes are driving with them and they pick the more expensive gas and you make a jerky comment.  Not because you care about the cost of the gas, but because you’re put in the situation where you haven’t had sex for the past three months and you’re letting your frustration out on the gas.  Then your wife equates this to “anger issues” and wants therapy so you can deal with it.  Anger is a typical and beneficial emotion that stems from a lack of control.   I am acquiescing to your desires, even when it’s something I don’t want to do.  We have an uneven love and I don’t like it.   When you become distant and withhold intimacy from me, I would think that withholding anger is a natural emotion.  When I did have anger, you made me feel guilty for having this anger and in turn I felt like I was in the wrong for feeling this way and scared that my anger would drive you away even more.  And now, when you describe why the relationship failed, you will mention that it’s because I have anger issues.  You know how all of this makes me feel?  Angry.  Danielle had anger issues.  She kept everything inside.  Do I uses this as an excuse as to why the marriage ended?  No.  I just label it as someone who handles anger differently than I do because we’re all human beings and we all have flaws.  During therapy, Danielle said I had improved on my anger issues and I think she opened up more.   Therapy was helping us become more compatible as far as our emotions went.  It meant nothing in regards to changing Danielle’s sexuality.