FUCK!!!  I DID NOT TAKE MY ADVICE.  I told myself that at age 50, I would be done with waiting for Danielle to make a decision and that I’d leave.  I figured by then, I couldn’t stand it anymore anyway and would I want to continue being with someone who has been figuring it out for 4 ½ years?  Is this selfish of her or just a process she’s working through.  I think both but what am I getting out of it besides heartache and stress?  I was getting my life partner and that was worth it to me.  I was going to be there for her until she figured it out because that’s the vow I made.   

The problem with saying 50 was the cut-off was that Sexico happened and Danielle was super sexual and romantic with me in Sexico.  And then my shoulder surgery happened and I was super drugged up and in pain so I didn’t really care about anything until April and that’s when she hit me with it.  Maybe I knew that 50 was coming.  That 50 was the new end of things.  Phuck Phifty.