So this is how it happened.  Long story short version.  A month after Mexico/Sexico I had rotator cuff surgery.   Rotator cuff surgery sucks donkey dicks.  I actually had the belief that if I worked my other muscles in my arm, I would recover more quickly.  That’s bull!  I sit here typing this, 1 day before the 5 month anniversary of my surgery and it still hurts and is tight as a rejuvenated vagina*.  But this isn’t a medical journal, so I will move on.  The day before surgery (February 17th), I was hoping that Danielle and I would go to freaky town… have some horizontal refreshment… put the sour cream in the burrito… y’know.  Sex.  I mean, I figured it was the day before a big surgery and I knew that I wouldn’t get any action for a while because of the amount of pain I would be in and I was also very anxious about dying on the operating table, so I thought some sexy sex would relieve the anxiety for a bit.  So that day, I was doing my regular modus operandi as I was pretty much throughout the four years of therapy.  Not pushing too hard** but also trying to indicate my lustful intentions.  I massaged Danielle’s feet.  I massaged her back.  I made her lunch.  I cleaned up the house.  I mentioned multiple time that I was feeling nervous about the surgery***, etc.  Keep in mind that Sexico was only 6 weeks earlier so I was pretty hopeful that I was going to conquer the pink fortress sometime that day.  It got late, so we went to bed and I was hoping that this was the time.  If not sex, maybe a blow job or at least a hand job or some form of release.  But then Danielle turned off her light and gave me a perfunctory kiss goodnight.  Boom.  Done.  No Exploring the Hidden Valley.  No Splooge Bathing.  Nothing.  Just darkness.  I was pissed.  She could tell and asked me what was wrong.  I snapped and told her about the anxiety and the desire I had and all she could say was sorry.  I turned over, went to sleep, and the next day I was operated on.  It was a long recovery.  It still is a long recovery.  I was placed in a contraption to keep my shoulder from moving and was in constant pain.  I couldn’t sleep in a regular bed, so I slept on the recliner each night and Danielle tucked me in.  She took amazing care of me.  She would make my blankets snug, my pillows right, and made sure I was all good for the night.  She’s that type of person.  An amazing caretaker.  She does it for me, for her mom, for her daughter and everyone.  Looking back, I can see why maybe she was done.   Maybe she got to the point where she needed to start taking care of herself and not others.  Maybe it was her time to stop caring more for others than she was for herself.  I was in too much pain to be affectionate or sexual although I do remember about seven weeks into it, she gave me a hand job which would turn out to be our last intimate moment as a couple.  At around the Three month mark, I started to feel better.  Physically.  Mentally.  Sexually. I was ready to get back in the proverbial saddle and make love to my wife without using my right arm.  I was going to bring the Sexico back to the Conejo…valley that is.  So I was more flirty, more romantic, more sweet, more everything.  But something was wrong.  Something was off.  She was kissing me like a friend  She didn’t want to snuggle as much.  The worst part, was that she was distant.  I knew something was up.  It was a Thursday when it all came together, or actually when it all came apart.  Danielle wanted to do a “woman’s group” on Zoom and I told her it was fine.  I made dinner for Emily and I and my mind was clicking. 

Kissing like a friend.  Check

Withdrawing from me.  Check

Distant.  Check

Woman’s Group… what kind of “woman’s group” was it???

I went outside with a glass of whiskey.  Turned on the firepit and waited because I had an idea what kind of “woman’s group” it was.  At eight the women’s group was over and Danielle came outside.

EXT. BRAM BACKYARD – NIGHT

ERIC

What’s going on?

DANIELLE

What do you mean?

ERIC

What’s going on?  You’ve been acting off for the past few weeks.  You’re kissing me like a friend.  When I snuggle with you, you seem to back away, and… what kind of “woman’s group” is this?  Is it a lesbian one*****?

DANIELLE

Yes…. 

ERIC

Are you okay?

DANIELLE

Eric, I think we should separate.

                                                       FADE TO BLACK…

I don’t need to write any more of the script.  You can guess what Eric did.  Crying.  Anger.  Sadness. You can guess what Danielle did.  Resolve.  Stoic.  Guilt.  Overall, the crappiest time in history that involved whiskey, a fire pit and lesbians. 

*The first woman I had sex with after Danielle and I separated had a boob lift and a rejuvenated vagina.  She told me this and when we had sex, she didn’t have to say a word because it was extremely and tightly rejuvenated.  Medical science is incredible.  First the Covid vaccine and now this. 

**Fuck you, Dr. Dick

***Sympathy card.  Works every time… almost

****It was called “Coming Out of a Straight Marriage”